Latest

Preparation Day: 104

These all look to you,
to give them their food in due season.
When you give it to them, they gather it up;
when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.
When you hide your face, they are dismayed;
when you take away their breath, they die
and return to their dust.
When you send forth your Spirit, they are created,
and you renew the face of the ground.

– the psalmist, just saying what is
(from Psalm 104)

::

Read the rest of this page »

More Than You Wanted to Know

I think, sometimes, we create elaborate fantasies about what other people’s interactions with God look like, or how we think ours should. Like the Choir of St. John plays in the background and incense explodes out of some people’s Bibles when they open them.

It’s not like that. Not at my house.

For one thing, I’m not allowed to do incense. I’d burn the place down.

And that choir sings, but only during work hours when I ask Pandora to pipe it into my office, where I work alone. And only when I haven’t replaced it with a curious mix of The Glorious Unseen, Leland and Brooke Fraser. And only after the boys have left the house. They already wonder about me.

Sometimes, I believe the myth myself — thinking that those transcendent times when soul, body and spirit all come together and meet him in a way that leaves me both more dead and more alive than I’ve ever been in the same moment are the norm, rather than the scattered and elusive rare jewel.

Case in point: yesterday. At the risk of appearing insufficiently reverent, let me tell you how my morning with the Father went yesterday. It was more the norm than the rare jewel. And it may just be more than you ever wanted to know.

::

Read the rest of this page »

88: God’s Dark, Messy, Painful Gift

Neck deep in Matt Woodley’s anguished chapter on “Prayer as Mystery” (The Folly of Prayer: Practicing the Presence and Absence of God), I flipped the page open to 88, a psalm of lament from Heman the Ezrahite. And I wondered why God would find it brilliant for me to hang out for any length of time in this seething black pit of despair.

Still, that’s where God pointed; that’s where I’d stay. I was in the midst of a seven-day stay, letting the same text speak for several days in row.  The lights had burned brightly of late, and it seemed harmless enough. Strange, though, to try to engage a lament when, at the present moment, one doesn’t feel particularly sorrowful.

Enter the benefit of a seven-day stay: Stick around long enough, and it works its way through you.

The Word is like that.

Read the rest of this page »

Preparation Day: 55

I call to God; God will help me.
At dusk, dawn, and noon I sigh deep sighs —
he hears, he rescues.

   My life is well and whole, secure in the middle of danger
Even while thousands are lined up against me.

David, in Psalm 55
The Message

::

Read the rest of this page »

The Gift of Presence (Or: How I Met Megan)

I’ve long forgotten the meal — the fruit and nuts of it, anyway. I know I savored every bite, and even cleaned my plate. It was that good.

But the company? It was even better.

Megan and I jostled through the serving line of Tim’s buffet at Laity Lodge together. We didn’t plan it that way. We just sort of wound up there at the same time. We’d seen each other around — online, and now off line, but for some reason our paths had not yet intersected.

She would change all that.

We reached the door to the dining room at about the same time, and Megan yielded. Being from South Dakota, I yielded back. That’s what we do at uncontrolled intersections — we keep waving the other on until someone gives in.

But she’s from Texas. She won’t play the perpetual yield game. She looked up at me and said, “Go sit down.” She can be matter-of-fact like that. “I don’t know you yet, so I’m going to sit with you today.”

And that was that.

I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anyone so quickly in all my life.

That may not have been the day that Tim served pho. But I remember it as the best meal I had all weekend.

Megan brings to every encounter the gift of her presence. Her attention. Her questions. Her careful listening. Her tender heart.

::

I may be in big trouble before the day is through. (I’ll take a couple of friends down with me.) But I’m a big believer that forgiveness is easier to ask than permission. So, Megan, forgive me for this. But word on the street is it’s your birthday this weekend.

Permit the rest of us to celebrate a bit over you.

(Find my friend Megan – writer, tea drinker, failed liturgical dancer – at MeganWillome.com.)