Where Were You?
I spent the evening lying on my bed reading.
And now I feel as though I’ve just run around the block.
I’m winded. I can feel my heart, thumping against my ribs in that “what’d you do that to me for?” kind of way. My blood pressure feels up and I’m wondering if it will fall back to normal before I have my annual visit to the doctor tomorrow so I can hear the nurse say, “120 over 85. That’s good.”
Because right now, this static-y buzz around my ears and tingling around my scalp feels like it’s going to last forever.
::
I read the book of Job tonight. Forty-two chapters. Twenty-nine pages. Two hours.
Seems leisurely enough.
As much as I like to take the scenic route through the onion skin pages, some books cry out to be read all in one sitting. Job is one of those. It’s tough otherwise to wrangle it all together.
Job’s world collapses. His friends come first just to sit with him, and then begin this rich, full, complex dialog to try to drill down why his world collapsed, what he did to cause it, whether God withheld His justice, and what Job must do to fix it.
The men weave truth and rubbish together so seamlessly that reading it in pieces lends itself to yanking sound bites and pull quotes that fail miserably to paint the full picture.
If, then.
They are nothing if not masters of the formulas of the faithful. But none arrives at an adequate solution to a single equation. And in the end, God thunders His own questions, shaking them all to the bedrock. Brace yourself, Job. Now I will ask and you will answer.
Where were you?
Cue up the staggering universe sequence from The Tree of Life. It’s that roar I can still hear in my ears now.
Job’s reply to God’s interrogation, the few words he can muster after God’s sweeping narration of His own unspeakable greatness is simply this, and it leaves me both weak and a little weepy:
My ears had heard of you.
But now my eyes have seen you.
In case you weren’t sure, that’s how a person gets winded just lying still to read.
::
Once I get myself settled down here again, I have some time scheduled to work my way back through the book from the beginning. Maybe you’d like to stick around and see what happens.
That book has been all through my notes lately. Not notes OF the book, but references TO the book. Job mystifies me in so many ways, but just this morning I realized that what was most important was God’s reaction to the entire scenario. And then I forgot to go read. Thank you, I shall do that soon. And I look forward to seeing what happens next, if that’s okay.
2012/02/19 at 9:38 PM
Stacy, you’re so right — what really matters is God’s response. I can weigh what the other five say against each other all day. But in the end, God says, “Where were you…” and I have to go humbly off to repent like Job. Thanks for stopping by and your comment. Can’t tell you what’ll happen next, but you’re more than welcome to stick around.
2012/02/19 at 9:43 PM
Wow.
Yeah. I’d like to stick around.
2012/02/19 at 10:25 PM
First time I read the book of Job in one sitting was about 20 years ago, following a suicide.
If there is ever a life-situation where you do not need friends like Job’s friends, it is in the aftermath of the hurricane called ‘suicide.’
I’m going to stick around, too, so I’ll put some coffee on.
You like your’s strong – right? – like your God…
2012/02/19 at 10:33 PM
Very strong, Dave. Think crankcase oil.
Job’s friends talked too much, for one thing. But the toughest thing I find is that they weren’t just blatantly off the wall. Much of what they said was true.
I had a friend the other day post on FB that her young children came excitedly in the house with their hands full of “baby pine cones” to show her. Problem was, as cute as they might have been if you thought they were teeny little pine cones, things changed in a hurry when you realized they were rabbit drops.
Job’s friends had too many rabbit drops mixed in with the pine cones. But as I figure, a good sniff ought to help sort it out.
2012/02/20 at 5:05 PM
i will tag along.
2012/02/19 at 11:29 PM
Making Job your Job. I’m gonna’ hang in too.
Dad
2012/02/19 at 11:44 PM
I love Job. My husband is doing his own study of the book right now, but I can’t wait to read yours.
By the way, do you think I’d like “The Tree of Life”? I’ve been thinking about it.
2012/02/20 at 8:24 AM
I’d like to see his study. Is it see-able anywhere?
Tree of Life. I want to say you’d like it, partly because I want everyone to like it even though I know probably more would not like it than would. Not sure your film preference, but if you like long, ponderous films with minimal dialogue, cinematography that will steal your breath over and over, hard truth, complex story, and a lack of ribbon and bow closure, I think you’ll like it. It might upset you, in the way that a good poem would.
I watched it by myself because I couldn’t imagine asking anyone to endure it with me. I held my breath and loved it all the way through. At the end, my brain and heart hurt and I was completely spent but almost put the dvd back in and played it again. Does that help?
2012/02/20 at 5:13 PM
I had someone suggest that you turn the subtitles on for the 2nd viewing – which made perfect sense to me. So much of the voiceover was so low – and I think that’s intentional for a first experience. But seems like it could be really helpful – much like your 2nd, slower go through with Job – to seek out increasing clarity the 2nd time. I went with my husband and saw it in the theater – and he HATED IT. But I was intrigued – also exhausted, puzzled, challenged and wonder-filled. I’m thinking about buying the DVD.
And yes, PLEASE count me in for follow up words on this great, great book. I’m doing a different Lenten discipline – a daily reflection on one of the texts for the day. We’ll see how long I can keep up a daily post, even if it is short! But I feel sorta compelled – let’s keep tabs on each other’s wonderings during Lent, okay?
2012/02/20 at 5:36 PM
Diana that seems like a great idea. And I was all of those things watching it. I cannot honestly say watching it felt like entertainment. It felt like something altogether different, but I couldn’t put my finger on it if you paid me.
And your husband’s response is what kept me from asking anyone to watch it with me.
And, I am such.a.baptist. I knew we were on the edge of Lent. But did not make the connection with the Job study and the season. Now, I’m even more looking forward to spending more time with it, so thank you for that. I also look forward to your reflections. I’ve seen some really good things happen with a few writers who’ve made the leap, for a set amount of time, to do the daily post. I trust you’ll see good things happen, inside and out, as well.
2012/02/20 at 7:13 PM
It does help. Sounds like I need to do it alone, though. No one in my family would be interested.
And John’s still working on it. Nothing ready yet.
Happy Ash Wednesday, you Baptist, you!
2012/02/22 at 9:36 AM
My blood pressure probably went up just hearing you’re going to share your study. I’m eager to read and ponder your insights into this rich book.
2012/02/20 at 9:53 AM
Ha! Thanks for your confidence, Solveig.
And for what it’s worth, my BP was “very good” today.
2012/02/20 at 5:14 PM
“The men weave truth and rubbish together so seamlessly that reading it in pieces lends itself to yanking sound bites and pull quotes that fail miserably to paint the full picture.” Yes. Exactly. And I know I’ve been prone to do the exact same thing with the Word of God because I want life to wrap up neatly with ribbons and bows. But it doesn’t. It is exhausting and doesn’t always resolve. But God.
I’ve been wanting to see Tree of Life as well, but now I’m thinking I’d better get my BP checked first. Definitely not going to subject the beloved Swede to it.
2012/02/21 at 11:12 AM
I’ll be here. It’s a place I’ve been in the hardness, never somewhere I’ve camped out in the easy times. Then again, I haven’t seen easy in years. I’m all for seeing Job through a new set of eyes.
2012/02/21 at 10:33 PM
Hi friend =)
shove over… I’m coming too. This goes well with The Pilgrim’s recent post at LL site. No answers, but God… like Nancy said.
2012/02/22 at 7:37 AM
Here I am. Late and out of breath, but thinking that I could use some of what God taught Job. Love all the things you do here, Lyla!
2012/02/24 at 4:47 PM