Who Am I?
I’ve been telling the story on and off since college, I think.
That’s when I decided Exodus was going to be my very favorite book.
I think maybe I’ve even told it here before. But today feels like a day to tell it again.
It’s not really my story, you know. The story belongs to Moses. And then again, it is exactly my story most days. I imagine it’s often exactly yours, too.
I wonder, sometimes, if all Moses needed was a little pep talk. God knocked him a little screwy there by that bush that burned, but didn’t. He seemed a little dazed, disoriented with it all. It’s no wonder he stammered around and made up reasons not to go back to Egypt.
God let go an opportunity to boost His servant’s spirits, give him an extra vote of confidence. I wonder if Moses just needed God to say, “Hey, Servant. I like your stuff. I have a project I’d really like to put you on.”
Moses grew up in Egypt, pampered as royalty in the palace while his own people toiled under harsh oppression in the brick mills. When his zeal for justice momentarily took over, he killed an Egyptian to defend a brother, and found himself exiled. Years later, God awakened him from his comfortable slumber tending herds with a booming voice from non-consuming flames, sending him back to Egypt to truly set the captives free.
By then, Moses didn’t want to leave the wilderness.
He read off a list of deficiencies, detailing flaws and shortcomings he felt confident would exempt him from the task at hand.
I’m a horrible public speaker. And a little dense.
A manager, in presenting a new challenge to his staff, will often set the tone for a good reception by affirming the qualities that made him select that employee.
You do a great job analyzing the data.
Your last presentation rocked.
Your conflict management skills are top-notch.
You make great decisions under pressure.
But God did not seize the moment to affirm Moses. All he needed was a reassuring pat on the back. And God didn’t give him one.
God did not tell him why he was the guy.
He did not tell him his speaking skills were better than he thought. He didn’t tell him not to sell himself short. He didn’t tell him he still had influence in the palace. He didn’t tell him he threw down a staff like nobody’s business.
God never told Moses that he was born to this. He never told him to pursue the dream that was born the day he killed the Egyptian. He never told him he could do anything he set his mind to.
He never once tried to build him up.
In fact, the only guy He affirmed at all was Aaron, and he was still on his way to the show.
God told Moses one thing.
When Moses asked God Who am I? God’s answer had nothing to do with Moses.
And the answer was everything that he needed.
Who was Moses? He was the guy who was with the One who was with him.
::
Photo: Flames by Patita
This one just makes my heart pound Lyla. It is so true. I so often want to be coaxed into doing the big thing with words of praise and encouragement and support. You have said it perfectly. He is there all the while, wanting me to realize that He is all I need.
This means a great deal to me. Thank you.
2011/03/31 at 7:18 PM
i can understand not wanting to do something, feeling like
a failure before i start, and not thinking i can do the job.
i have felt that way about things at times.
2011/03/31 at 11:12 PM
I face the “imposter syndrome.” Even though I have skills and abilities, I continually feel like I’m faking my way through.
I like what you said about God not necessarily affirming Moses’ abilities. Rather, he just gave him His power.
It really takes the pressure off!
2011/04/01 at 9:35 AM
oh, brilliant , Lyla.
2011/04/01 at 2:03 PM
What comfort and encouragement – “I will be with you.” God knows what we really need to hear.
2011/04/01 at 4:14 PM
Thanks for reminding us of what is important … the utmost importance.
2011/04/01 at 4:15 PM
I’m with David — I often feel the “imposter” lurking under. I never thought about this story this way before, Lyla — the fact that Moses didn’t get a big pep talk, a big boost, from God. He simple got one very important assurance: I am with you. Doesn’t that speak so much? That God only gave him four words? But they were the four MOST important words. Why then do I forget them so often?
On another note…I was an absolute delight to meet you in person yesterday, Lyla! I LOVE your dry sense of humor and your stoic nature. My husband and all his extended family are from MN and ND, so I am naturally drawn to that stoicism and what lies beneath! You are very cool…wish we’d had the whole weekend to get to know each other better.
2011/04/02 at 8:00 AM
This is very good. So very good.
And Michelle, I am so jealous!!!
2011/04/02 at 8:40 AM
It’s so encouraging that it is not about who we are but who God is and what He is doing. Great post!
2011/04/02 at 5:55 PM
Lyla:
While packing, sorting, and confirming that that box of ??? is a keeper, I ran across your college treatise on the book of Exodus. When things settle down, I am going to read it again.
So often we focus on the reluctant Moses(and Aaron)and what they did in leading the Children of Israel out of slavery and forget and forget that how God chose them in the first place.
What reassurance for Moses, and us too. “I will be with you”.
Dad
2011/04/02 at 8:07 PM
Dad, that Exodus work remains pretty important in me. Usually pretty embarrassing to me now, so not sure whether it’s worth the time to read it again. I’m sure there’s an episode of Law and Order on some cable channel that would be more enjoyable and keep you awake a little longer.
2011/04/02 at 8:52 PM
Lyla:
Funny you should mention Law and Order. Law and Order is not all that foreign to either the Old Testament or the New Testament. I started a guest blog for you on that subject awhile back and them this AM, our senior high pastor preached on Matthew 5:17-20 (Christ came to fulfill the Law). I should probably get back to it and see if it is salvageable.
Dad
2011/04/03 at 4:33 PM
Exodus is one of my very favorite books. There’s a lot of wilderness in that book, and I seem to spend lots of time in the wilderness. So, the part that struck me was where you said, “By then, Moses didn’t want to leave the wilderness.” There is a temptation to stay in the wilderness, even though we’ve been told about the Promised Land. Sometimes, all you know is all you know, and maybe it takes a burning bush to help a person see straight again.
Hey – I’m with Michelle. There was just wasn’t enough time on Friday. I could have sat there with you for hours.
2011/04/04 at 2:35 PM
I’m the girl who is with the One who is with me.
But I’d still like a pat on the back sometimes.
You do this so well, Lyla!
2011/04/05 at 1:10 PM
Great article. We all can use a push or a nudge at times to bring out our greatness. I wrote an article on WHO am I? that you might find interesting. http://www.allowyourlighttoshine.com/mind/who-am-i-really
To your greater good,
Laura Meehan
2011/04/18 at 3:48 PM