Under a Shared Umbrella (guest post by Jennifer Dukes Lee)
A few weeks ago I slid into the back pew of a little church in northwest Iowa and chuckled watching a crazy Jesus-loving pirate sing and shout in worship with the kids as the night’s VBS program came to a close. A leader came over to introduce herself and wondered what brought me there and how I knew Jennifer Lee.
I swallowed chalk, opened my mouth to answer, and closed it again when nothing came out.
Finally, I stammered, “She’s a blogging friend.”
I don’t know why that felt awkward. Because while I met Jennifer Lee “online,” she’s become a good friend — a real friend — offline.
We had been planning a post-swap anyway, so when High Calling Blogs announced their writing project on the subject of how online friendships develop and grow into something real, it seemed perfect to jump in.
Any other day of the week I’d tell you to get straight on over to Jennifer’s place. But today, she’s over here. I’d love for you to stick around and read her first, and then head on over to her place where she’s invited me to write a guest post today.
With Jennifer here, this is, for me, a day at the cool kids’ table.
Under a Shared Umbrella
guest post by Jennifer Dukes Lee
I could have called her on the telephone to tell her. But we had built this friendship over invisible lines and IP addresses by tapping fingertips on keys and hitting the SEND button. So I sat at this glowing screen, and I typed a note to a friend I’d met only once:
Dear Lyla …
How are you holding up? Seems we’ve both been under rainclouds of sorts. Sunny days ahead …”
That was back in October, when Lyla was two days from joblessness in a South Dakota town. And here on this Iowa farm, it wouldn’t stop raining. And then it started snowing, and my husband couldn’t harvest his crops.
And I knew Lyla cared – like a real friend cares – because she’d sit at a glowing screen, too. And she’d tap out
virtual words that flew along
virtual lines into my
virtual mailbox,
and it was all wrapped up in real love.
She’d write things like this:
Dear Jennifer …
Stepped out into rain again here this morning and groaned on your behalf. How is Scott? (And you of course.)
This friendship – though cyber-built – is as real as if we were next-door neighbors under the same rain cloud, waiting for the same sun to dry up dreary days.
I pause and re-read the sentence I just typed. A virtual friendship can be a real one? I really believe that?
Yes.
Two years ago, I was wholly skeptical of the validity of any relationship that I couldn’t greet with a handshake at church, or on a shared bleacher, or around my kitchen table … or under a shared umbrella in the rain.
How could you trust someone you met over the Internet if you couldn’t look into their eyes? How could you truly connect with a person you’ve known only through typed words?
But then I started blogging in July 2008.
The last thing I was looking for was a “bloggy buddy.” I started my blog because I wanted a place to write. If I became acquainted with a few other writers that might be OK — I supposed — but I didn’t feel like I needed more friends or an expanded community. I had all of that in abundance right here in northwest Iowa, thank you very much.
Then I was hurt in a collision on an Iowa highway. And my father-in-law died. All in the span of five days. And a real community of real people reached out and prayed.
I was – at once — smitten and humbled.
Lyla was one of the new friends who showed up in my inbox – in a very real way. She offered prayers and support and advice as I navigated through insurance claims and grief and the “why” of the pain.
As it turned out, we were separated by just a little stretch of Interstate. We liked the same restaurants, shopped at the same mall, and even attended the same Christian music festival every Labor Day weekend. So we decided to meet at the festival.
We had our first face-to-face meeting in a South Dakota pasture, where 100,000 people were singing God’s praises, and I wrote to her a few days later:
For the record, the Lyla that I met in person was the Lyla that I thought I knew. There were no surprises – only a richer version of the Lyla found in those two-dimensional words on that screen.
Like “real” friends, we have our own dumb inside jokes, and we call each other wretches and we joke about Iron Doors and Hostess Ding Dongs.
But … it’s more than a four-lane road and a few words in this place or that place that connect us.
Kindred spirits cleave through a cross and an empty tomb and a throne and a Father and – yes, some words – but mostly The Word.
And so our friendship grows, made real by Jesus. And I know it’s real through those perfectly timed words that she drops in my blog’s comment box or my inbox. When I read the words, they go real and deep and they buoy my soul when the rain won’t stop:
Dear Jennifer,
I had another nice visit with the Father about you. You have any idea how much He loves you?
– Lyla
Yeah, that’s real to me.
::::::
Jennifer Dukes Lee is an Iowa farmer’s wife, mama of two girls and a pilgrim who is Getting Down with Jesus on a life-altering journey toward Home. She writes three times a week at her place, and also serves as Contributing Editor for High Calling Blogs. I’m honored to call her my friend.
What a beautiful post, Jennifer.
I also came to blogging as a place to write, and have been surprised and delighted by the real flesh- and-blood-and- prayer friendships here. I’m so grateful!
2010/07/23 at 9:03 AM
Becky — My experience exactly.
Just two weeks ago, I actually changed up my blog list. Previously, I had separated by blog list into two separate categories: Bloggers and “Real-Life” Friends Who Blog. … But I can no longer tell the difference between the two groups.
They’re now in one long list. Because they’re all real to me.
Thanks for stopping by!
2010/07/23 at 9:58 PM
You guys absolutely crack me up. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me or my IP addresses for your blogs got switched on me.
What a blessing that you two were able to make your friendship 3-D! And just think what you would have missed if neither of you ever started :
2010/07/23 at 9:10 AM
(oops- pardon my excitement- I pressed enter too soon!-LOL)
virtual words that flew along
virtual lines into your
virtual mailboxes,
May God continue to nurture these friendships!
( ok NOW I am done!)
2010/07/23 at 9:12 AM
I didn’t think so before … but now I know that online relationships can flourish online. But it’s icing on the cake to sit across the table and see the person face-to-face. Would love that opportunity with YOU someday, Julie!
2010/07/23 at 10:06 PM
OH what a beautiful post. I reckon once we reach beyond the keyboard, be it a phone call or a prayer, we have become more than “bloggy buddies.” The reality of it is indeed a precious gift, tangible, lovable, and full of grace.
Blessings.
2010/07/23 at 9:23 AM
Ah yes … I remember a certain phone call with you, Simple Country Girl. And a certain verse from Acts that we read together.
That’s tangible stuff there.
2010/07/23 at 10:10 PM
Jennifer,
You truly “have a way” with words. I loved reading your post.
Loved reading “Kindred spirits cleave through a cross and an empty tomb and a throne and a Father and – yes, some words – but mostly The Word.”
So true.
2010/07/23 at 10:00 AM
Jennifer, beautiful, beautiful, as always. Something about your writing — you just open our hearts and slip right in. And this treasured friendship with Lyla…that’s beautiful, too!
I am so happy today — all these posts about friends are just making me positively cheerful! And that’s saying alot…as I have a sinus infection and an ear infection and a stye in my eye (perhaps too much information? but that’s what friends are for, eh? ).
2010/07/23 at 12:52 PM
Angel – Thank you for your encouragement!
And Michelle — It’s been cool to have an in-person encounter with you. I look forward to reading your post next week with Deidra. That’s a cool story — how you met.
2010/07/23 at 10:11 PM
This relationship is so real; it’s so obvious. The Lord has brought together two beautiful people, two beautiful writers.
2010/07/23 at 2:26 PM
Yes, I agree with Charity.
2010/07/23 at 5:10 PM
Thank you, Nancy and Charity!
2010/07/23 at 10:09 PM
Thank you for sharing and blessing us with your friendship!
When reflecting on our friendships created by on-line presence, I wonder why I should be surprised?
People have always felt touched by those they didn’t actually meet face-to-face…pen pals…even connections with those gone before by reading what they’ve written.
All for His Glory,
GOD’s Peace to you,
Connie Mace
2010/07/23 at 2:31 PM
Hey Connie! Cool to see you over here. It’s been fun to see you become more involved in the HCB community. You’re a blessing!
I think you make a great point … that this is sort of the 2010 version of pen-pals. Cool!
2010/07/23 at 10:08 PM
Thanks to all of you for stopping over — nice to see some new faces, and the familiar ones as well. Jennifer’s no stranger to all of you, so you know what a gift she is.
Jennifer, thanks so much for being here in this place. You are more than I could have imagined.
2010/07/24 at 11:22 AM
Blessings Jennifer and Lyla… I’m so glad I stumbled upon this and have now read both of your
“We Are Real” posts and I marvel at the writing ability. Actually kinda in awe!!! I love how both of you have written and come to know each other…I’m from MN but leave down here in Mexico and have never had the privilege of meeting a blogging friend. Yet have enjoyed many friends I’ve met on line. I’ve bookmarked High Calling (great new community for me) and both your blogs but I have a hard enough time keeping up with the ones I already know & love & feel like I have known forever (at least since I began blogging). You both are very gifted writers and your friendship seems to be such a blessing in disguise. It was such a delight to read and now I’m wanting to go read more… but I’m a bit of a lurker when I don’t know the people… I’m not even sure which blog I regularly read led me to you two…guess it’s divine appointment. But I’m so glad to meet you & your blogs & your stories. Thanks for giving me this JOY!
Peggy
2010/07/24 at 12:38 PM
Peggy, thanks so much for stopping by! Seems this can all get a little overwhelming sometimes, so many places to visit and keep track of. Enjoy your visits to the High Calling — some great folks over there to get to know.
2010/07/25 at 5:06 PM
A privilege to meet you as well, Peggy. I’m delighted that you’ve bookmarked High Calling. It is a great community. Drop by anytime — at our blogs, or at HCB. It’s an engaging and lively community. Feel free to join the conversation over there! We’d love to hear your voice. Blessings to you…
2010/07/24 at 1:52 PM
I agree with Jennifer, Lyla…you are the REAL thing. And so is she. You guys are gold and this story is precious.
2010/07/25 at 4:25 PM
Aw, shucks, Laura. But yeah, Jennifer’s the real deal. It’s been a good thing getting to know her, and folks like you.
2010/07/25 at 5:07 PM
I’m thinking a Christian music festival is a fairly safe place to meet. Charity and I met for the first time (3-dimensionally) at the far less spiritual Starbucks.
Loving these stories–these lives intertwining, enriching one another, becoming real, even when we haven’t yet met.
Hints of heaven abound here, as we consider the unity of believers stretching out across time, space, and Internet connections as the Holy Spirit brings us together.
2010/07/26 at 3:15 PM
I love sharing an umbrella with my sisters from cyberspace…and the way you described those perfectly timed emails and posts….
“When I read the words, they go real and deep and they buoy my soul when the rain won’t stop:”
Amen! Perfectly written!
2010/07/26 at 7:20 PM
that was a happy example of friendship made real…such an easy style of storytelling here
2010/07/26 at 7:40 PM
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Virtual can be “real”? You betcha! Thanks for sharing what so many of us already know in our hearts.
2010/07/28 at 4:51 PM
Ann, in leaving a place I often consider those I won’t see this side again, and what a hoot it will be to see them again there. But to consider “meeting” these whom I’ve “known” but never seen, what a ridiculous feast that will be!
Karen, Elaine and Firefly, we do know this, don’t we. We know this can be — is — so very real. It’s been great fun to read of all this these past few days.
2010/07/28 at 6:46 PM
Hi Jennifer,
Your post was stirring as always. You do have a way with words that draws the reader in. So glad that you and Lyla became blogging buddies and have met in person.
Jennifer Janes and I have been blessed through our online connection and friendship as well. But we’re more than an interstate away. Wish we were closer to meet face to face.
Blessings,
Janis
2010/07/29 at 7:39 PM