The Worst Christmas Pageant Ever

Poor Gideon. 

Not only was he a little guy, from a whimpy family of a low end tribe, with a lot of fear and even more doubt, but he’s also subjected daily to my skewed perspective on his escapades as the commander of the Lord’s army.

Read today’s text with me. Tell me what you see:

When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he worshiped God. He returned to the camp of Israel and called out, “Get up! The LORD has given the Midianite camp into your hands.” Dividing the three hundred men into three companies, he placed trumpets and empty jars in the hands of all of them, with torches inside.

“Watch me,” he told them. “Follow my lead. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly as I do. When I and all who are with me blow our trumpets, then from all around the camp blow yours and shout, ‘For the LORD and for Gideon.’ ” (Judges 7:15-18)

There was something about this scene that felt so familiar. It took me a while, but I finally put it together.

Gideon was not preparing his men for battle. He was putting on a Christmas pageant. 

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You’ve seen rehearsals. If not with your own kids, then as a kid. Or as their teacher. 

Dividing the children into three groups, the program director placed bells and horns and babies in the hands of all of them.

I can see our program directors doing this now. 

Kids form lines on the platform, costumed up in the same burlap bags, bedsheets and bathrobes that have covered different bodies on that same stage every year since 1952. (At least.)

They stand on their tape marks and receive their props. 

And the director instructs fidgeting children, Watch me. Follow my lead. Do exactly as I do.

::

Gideon and his  men may as well have been putting on a Christmas pageant. Because lets face it. The “weapons” he placed in their hands were no weapons at all. They were props. And nothing more.

Trumpet. Empty clay jar. Torch.

I suppose if they got close enough before being killed, they could burn a guy’s hair off with the torch. 

They were equipped for nothing more than a children’s show. 

::

Turns out that maybe it was less a children’s show than aVegas show as we read along. Or one of those really cool VBS programs instead.

A fantastic smoke and mirrors show was about to begin.

 Gideon and the hundred men with him reached the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands. The three companies blew the trumpets and smashed the jars. Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, “A sword for the LORD and for Gideon!” While each man held his position around the camp, all the Midianites ran, crying out as they fled. (Judges 7:19-21)

A ragtag cast of three hundred. Clad in bathrobes and bedsheets, kids who never learned their lines. Boys in the front row with fingers in noses, girls pulling poofy holiday dresses up over their heads. Shouting off key into the microphone during the choir numbers, but wide eyed, open mouthed and void of words when it comes time for their own recitation.

Here they are, ready to take on the Midianite and Amalekite armies. They’ll go to to their deaths unarmed but for a useless prop.

They wait. They must wait for the director to give the cue.  

Watch me. Follow my lead. Do exactly as I do.

::

Gideon blew his horn.

He smashed his clay jar. 

He took torch in one hand, horn in the other.

And the rest of his men followed suit. 

His cast of three hundred blew their horns.

They smashed their jars.

They took torches in one hand, horns in the other.

And they burst off the platform for their performance.

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The Midianites and the Amalekites should have been rolling on the ground in unstoppable laughter. 

But they weren’t.

They were too busy screaming and yelling and running away to see the humor. 

The smoke and mirrors worked.

It was the most destructive Christmas pageant ever.

The barley loaf rolled into camp and leveled it.

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Way back when God tried to make this all make sense, He said that He would do this fight with a tiny force because He wanted to be sure that folks knew Who won it.

He didn’t want them thinking it was Hebrew military intelligence or battle prowess.

He wanted them to see that it was all Him.

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Sometimes . . . sometimes . . . I feel like all He’s given me is a horn and a jar. And I can’t quite light my torch. 

And . . .  sometimes . . . I remember that He has to. 

He has to . . . so I don’t block the view.

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Catch up on the rest of the Gideon posts here.