Sanchez Is a Lot Like Me

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (Romans 7:17-25, MSG)

I’ve been reflecting on how this whole Sanchez thing happened to me. (To get the back story on Sanchez, read here.) Take a look at this. This was Sanchez the day she came to our house. Now, she was cute enough when she first came to stay the night. How could you not take her in for a little while?

But it was supposed to be temporary. She wasn’t supposed to be part of the family. It was just to nurse a tiny abandoned kitty back to health and find her a new home. But somehow, she stayed. Now she lounges around and looks pretty and really acts like she owns the place. Oh, sure, she looks innocent enough…

…but she’s not. Now that she’s big enough and agile enough to go anywhere she wants, we can’t leave stuff out like we used to. Well, we still do. But we shouldn’t. She gets into everything. She finds pens, bottle caps, flash drives, loose change, empty bottles, and anything else she can carry in her teeth, and stashes it under the throw rugs or behind the computer desk. She’s a thief and a hoarder. 

And she’s not nice. Yes, that’s my arm she’s chewing. I call that The Death Grip. See how she has her front feet wrapped around my forearm? Her claws have punctured my arm to hold it secure. You can’t see her teeth, but that’s just because they are sunken into my flesh. And her back feet? The still photos won’t show it but she’s using them almost like she’s propelling a kick board in the pool, not for the purpose of going anywhere, but primarily to shred whatever is left of my arm after her front claws and teeth are done. 

I realized today as she took a swipe at one of JP’s friends that came to spend the night that she’s just one big liability claim waiting to happen. 

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I’ve been mulling over this piece for the last week, waiting for it to fully take form. All I knew for sure was it involved Sanchez, me, and God. I had it going a different direction. But as I started a list of the things that really annoy me about this cat, something unpleasant occurred to me. You know how the people you find the most annoying are those that are also the most like you? I know that I couldn’t survive in a world made up of people like me. I don’t really know how the rest of you do it. 

So I considered what was most irritating about Sanchez, and I realized that as I looked at Sanchez through that lens that I saw just as much of me.

Ouch. She draws blood this time without even touching me.

Let me show you what I mean. 

Sanchez wants us on her terms. She wants us to pay attention to her only when she wants it, and then, we’d really better pay attention. If we want to play when she’s not interested, well, heaven help us.

I want God on my terms. I want Him to be ready and waiting for me when I’m ready for Him. And when I’m not? I’d Him to wait patiently on the sidelines. 

Sanchez is inconsiderate and selfish. She couldn’t care less if she’s sitting in my spot, or tearing up my desk, or stomping all over my keyboard, or taking our stuff and  hiding it under the rug. All she cares about is getting what she wants, when she wants, regardless of how it might affect someone else.

I am inconsiderate and selfish. I often do whatever I feel like doing, despite how it might affect someone else too.

Sanchez is ungrateful. Sanchez has everything she needs. She has food, she has water, she has a warm home, she has plenty of people who pay attention to her and play with her and snuggle her when she wants. But she doesn’t care. She never says thank you, and she never shows the slightest bit of gratitude. She just demands more.

I am ungrateful. God provides me with everything I need. And even sometimes, things I want. He cares for me, and honestly, I have to say I have so much. But I forget to be grateful for that. I neglect to thank Him and those around me. I just go back and ask for, sometimes demand, more.

Sanchez hurts us sometimes without meaning to. She has these claws, and she doesn’t have any idea how sharp they are and how easily they puncture and slice. She’s careless and wounds without intending to do it.

I hurt others sometimes without meaning to. I’m careless with my words and don’t realize how sharp they are and how deeply and easily they puncture and slice.

Sanchez hurts us sometimes on purpose. Whether she’s trying to get our attention, or she’s mad about something or she’s just that way, I’m pretty sure that sometimes she thinks it through and just bites down hard.

I hurt people sometimes on purpose. Maybe my desire isn’t really to cause pain, but I’ll admit when I’m angry or hurt sometimes I’ll still do things that I know will hurt. I think it through (or not at all) and just bite down hard.

Sanchez is impatient. She is unwilling to wait for what she wants. As I changed her litter today, she didn’t think I was pouring it fast enough, so she started throwing it around. She tears into the food bag as we try to fill her dish. She just won’t wait patiently for us to come through.

I am impatient. I am also unwilling to wait for what I want. I don’t allow God to come through and I try to force things on my own, sometimes ripping the bag or spraying the litter around in the process.

Sanchez is merciless. Recently when she slashed my leg, leaving a three-inch gash that was dripping blood (no exaggeration), she looked at me and walked away. No remorse, no mercy. If it had been convenient for her, she’d have slashed the other leg too. 

I am merciless. I just don’t always recognize the needs of others, and I sure don’t always respond to them with mercy.

Sanchez acts like she owns the place. She’s pretty sure our house was built and furnished just for her. And while she’s at it, I think she believes that we were born to serve her. She believes she has arrived. She forgets that she is a guest, a visitor, a temporary resident (would that it were true).

I act like I own the place. I act like this world is my home and that everything is here just to please and service me. I forget that I am but a tenant and that our eternal home is really what it’s about. This isn’t enough, it’s not all there is. When I act like it is, I act just like Sanchez.

Sanchez is unrepentant. She does the same things she’s been told not to do over, and over, and over. Sometimes within seconds of being told. And sometimes while she looks us right in the eye.

I am often unrepentant. I know what God asks of me. And yet often I do the opposite. Over, and over, and over. And sometimes, looking Him right in the eye, I’m ashamed to admit.

Get the point? I am so much like this annoying parasite that has taken over my home. While I am very quick to point out all that is wrong with her (and don’t think I’m not mentally doing that to other people as well), it takes me a little longer to recognize these are the same things that daily challenge me. 

The big difference, I suppose (besides that she is a beast and I am a person), is that I want to do the right thing. She really doesn’t care. There is nothing in her that makes her want to do it differently, that makes her want to do right.

I do. I have Jesus working in me, giving me the desire and the power to do what He wants.

And that makes my seemingly constant propensity toward sin even more exasperating.

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